I'm so sorry Mum you are no longer here and I'm so sorry I have let you down by not being the person whom I promised. But I am trying to keep that smile bright but I can not keep on going I am still broken not to have you around and I'm so so sorry I let you down. I promise to be strong and have a loving heart but I have lost that I'm no longer the person whom you raised. i am a stranger to myself now

Happy mothers day mum I miss you so very much thank you for what you have done for me before you left me a day does not go by without the love you gave me so I thank you miss you ne obliviscaris

Jean, This is one of the hardest things to write. Not because i don't know what to say but because i can't get used to the fact of not hearing your voice on the end of the phone, not because we will never play I Spy at the hospital and not because there will be no more trips to Tesco but because you have left a empty space in me that the only person that ever filled it was you. For so many years you have been a part of my life and in fact i can remember the first time we ever met, Freddie was only young but before long we naturally got on with the bond strengthening constantly to where we are today. Over the years you have moved from being a good friend to being a Mom for me, supporting me everyway you could and always shining a light towards me on my darkest days. For that i will never be able to repay you i am who i am today because you were there for me regardless of whether i was in the right or the wrong and regardless of whether it was a medical problem or otherwise you always led me along the right path. I Know there have been arguments because i didn't agree with your thoughts over the past few years and i know it has been a struggle for you but i am proud of you for walking your own path and i love you. I love you Jean! I'm not going to say goodbye because to me you will never be gone so instead i'm going to say I miss you, i love you and until we meet again I'll always remember to be the best me i can be, because that's what you believed and taught me.